What do you want?

This simple question helps to keep the focus on what is important. Julie French explores it in her chapter in ‘Good Question!’ in a really interesting way and she talks about knowing ‘when your whole being is in in tune with your decision at all levels’.

 How can you be sure that what you think you want is what you want? I took part in sessions about this on a workshop. The process was for someone to sit in front of the rest of the group and to answer the question ‘What do you want?’. When the person answered the group gave them feedback in terms of what they observed about the person as they were saying what they wanted. In other words, they were noticing facial expression, tone of voice and whatever else it is that we show that others notice along with the words we say. From this mixture of group attention and detailed noticing the person received feedback which they could use for reviewing the importance of whatever it was they thought they wanted. Was it really what they wanted with the whole of themselves?

I remember one session of this when my daughter was a lively toddler and one particular day the only thing I could come up with that I really wanted was that I wanted to sit down on the sofa!I put some grand plans on hold and allowed myself a bit more rest!

So a possibility here is to check out with yourself whether what you want is really what you want, and when you are making choices which choice is really what you want. You could try the exercise with a friend, getting them to notice how you are as you say what you want, or you could say it to the mirror and notice yourself.

Over time what we want changes so it’s a question worth revisiting now and then, perhaps morphing the question into something like ‘Is what I want still what I want?’