Valentine's Day: How to survive it when you're single

Are you single on Valentine’s Day?  Let’s face it, of all the holidays, the worst time to be single has got to be on Valentine’s Day!  The shops are full of Valentine’s cards oozing with romantic messages addressed to ‘the lovely husband’, the ‘beautiful wife’ or the ‘gorgeous girlfriend’.

Everywhere we look, we see beautifully decorated chocolate boxes and exotic red roses  while restaurants everywhere advertise their romantic Valentine’s specials.

Through flowers, fragrance and jewelry, the media portray this day as the one day of the year set aside for love, romance and passion so not having a date on Valentine’s Day can evoke feelings of loneliness, self-doubt and lowered self-esteem.

Valentine’s Day is a glaring reminder that you are still single - or worse, that you are single again.  It’s a reminder that you still haven’t found the person of your dreams and it may leave you wondering if you ever will.

So what are you supposed to do on Valentine’s Day when you are feeling the blues that you are single?  If you are feeling down as Valentine’s Day approaches take heart, there are plenty of ways to ensure you stay happy.  Here are my top suggestions for you this February 14th.

• Remember Valentine’s Is Really Just A Commercial Enterprise

Remember that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It’s not about love and relationships.  It’s about selling flowers, cards, chocolate and champagne.  Think of how many people get sucked into the false belief it’s about love. Oh -- think about all the money you are saving too.

• Celebrate Your Choice To Be Single

Don’t define yourself by your relationship status.  Your relationship status is not your identity.  You could easily be in a BTN relationship (Better Than Nothing) and just going through the Valentine’s ritual. Remind yourself that you chose to be single as opposed to being in an unhappy relationship. Feel good about that choice. Remember many people are in a relationship they can't wait to get out of or feel too scared to leave.

• Do Something That Really Celebrates Your Independence

Get together with other singles as a way of celebrating and affirming your decision to be single. Have a great night out!  Do something that really defines your independent status. Take the day off work and do something you normally don’t have time to do.

• Do Something That Moves You Closer To Meeting Your Ideal Partner

If you are single and don’t want to be, plan in advance to do something that doesn’t put you in the path of cooing couples.  Use the opportunity to do something new, something that might be the first step to meeting the kind of person you want to meet -- an art class, a keep-fit session at the gym, a film club.

Pamper Yourself – Indulge   

If you are single and don’t have a partner, extend the meaning of Valentine's to include doing something for other members of your family to show that you appreciate them.  Send flowers to a good friend.  Send a card to your children!  Invite a group of your single friends over for some fun and laughter that reminds you you don't need a partner to have a great time.

Do Absolutely Nothing

Stay at home and put on your favourite videos, eat and drink exactly what you like.  Indulge in your favourite magazines.  Put on your favourite music. Dig into your favourite novel.

If you think about the bigger picture, Valentine’s Day is just another day, really. Some countries don’t celebrate it and if you were there, February 14th would feel just like any other day. It’s the meaning you attach to February 14, that will ultimately decide how you cope with that day. 

Whatever you do, the overriding message is -- don’t indulge in self pity.  You choose your attitude to this day – make it a positive one!